In my entire childhood nobody hurt me as much as my mother’s sister did. I think that she is one of the evilest persons I have ever encountered because all her violence was directed to a little girl who was abandoned, trying to fit in a unknown family and couldn’t defend herself.
When I was a child a lot of people hurt me very bad, but I found a very good friend that still today has my back no matter what.
I found easier to talk about the people who hurt me, but I want you to know too the ones that were kind and caring. My second cousin is until this day my best friend. When we were kids we used to talk on the phone for hours, we even watched tv shows with each other on the phone so we could react to it live.
My father is a professional photographer so I have lots of pictures of myself when I was a child. In most of them I am alone, a few with my mother and a few with him.
My father loves me, I have no doubt in that but he was never present in my life. I think that the day he left me with my maternal grandmother his parental duties left with him.
He is very good with words, he used to write me lots of letters to compensate his absence one letter that I still keep with me says “Dear daughter : when you consider that I am to far away from you, be assured I’m the closest to your heart” beautiful right? a poet.
My mother is a peculiar person, to say the least. She is capricious and selfish but I like to think that underneath that a very sensitive person hides. Do I love my mother? I like to think so, but deep down I just don’t know.
I remember when I was a child I felt anxious when I needed to separate from my mother, every night she used to sneak away to see her lover and she left me “alone”, crying and feeling lonely. This fear of being abandoned haunt me until this day.