My father is a professional photographer so I have lots of pictures of myself when I was a child. In most of them I am alone, a few with my mother and a few with him.
My father loves me, I have no doubt in that but he was never present in my life. I think that the day he left me with my maternal grandmother his parental duties left with him.
He is very good with words, he used to write me lots of letters to compensate his absence one letter that I still keep with me says “Dear daughter : when you consider that I am to far away from you, be assured I’m the closest to your heart” beautiful right? a poet.
My dad always calls me “my life” with a very odd tone that I used to play over and over in my head. Even if he has another 10 children with different women, he always makes me feel special.
The oldest of his daughters took care of me for about 2 years, I think maybe she taught me the things toddlers learn with their parents such as to arrange my toys after finish playing or even how to eat and drink.
I know most of my siblings and I keep a “good” relationship with them. I have lots of nephews, some of them much older than me, but I naturally drifted away from this family the moment my father abandoned me. I barely saw them and I have little to no memories with them. Now that I’m older, whenever I go back home I try to see some of them and spend time with them along with my father, we all love him and we are sure that father loves us back even if he was never present for any of us.
My father is also a terrible liar, but he lies so often…
When I turned 16 he promised to buy me a car, he even asked me to choose the color I wanted. But I knew it was a lie, my father did not had money to buy a car, let alone buy me, a minor, the car I wanted. Despite knowing that this wouldn’t happen I told him my preferred car, and right after he disappeared for months and when he finally came back we never talked about the car and pretended that nothing happened.